Confessions of a Gay Activist

Our system of government is amazing. We reference our democratic freedoms on a regular basis as justification for being one of the greatest nations on earth. A cornerstone democratic freedom we enjoy is the ability to influence our government, for our voice and opinions to be heard on a national level. We do this through our elected representatives.

                            

Many believe that their participation in government ends as soon as they vote. Our elected officials take over, for better or worse, and we grade them on their performance at the next election. This is not an effective democratic government. Our officials need our input so they can be accurate representatives of our thoughts and wishes, and help shape a government into one that we desire.

 It is clear then, that the way to achieve a better government, correct bad policy, and strengthen our nation is to lobby your representative. 

This became clear to me when I started investigating the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and wanted to pursue a better alternative. Even a brief glance at Public Law 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654) reveals that it is bad policy. Take a look at the quote dealing with admission of homosexuality:

 That the member has stated that he or she is a homosexual or bisexual, or words to that effect, unless there is a further finding, made and approved in accordance with procedures set forth in the regulations, that the member has demonstrated that he or she is not a person who engages in, attempts to engage in, has a propensity to engage in, or intends to engage in homosexual acts. 

Essentially, if you say you’re gay, you have the “propensity” to engage in homosexual acts, and must therefore face the consequences of such. Can you imagine if similar legislation was enacted for other crimes? That a simple statement would carry the same consequences as an act? It seems a little absurd.

 

This is one of the reasons I decided “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” needed to be changed. There are many other reasons: those of civil equality, of military readiness, and simple acknowledgement of the fact that over 65,000 gay and lesbian active duty service members are sacrificing as much as their straight counterparts in the military, and deserve the same respect.

 

However, as mentioned before, the way to change legislation is to convey your thoughts to your elected representatives. So I ventured into the world of politics, and this apparently transforms one into a “rabid homosexual activist” with an “agenda.”

I am many things, but I don’t believe I am a “homosexual activist.” I am a concerned person and military veteran taking a stand for what I believe in, through our democratic processes.

 

I respect that not everyone shares my viewpoint; that is to be expected. Fortunately, we can all take advantage of the same process of educating our elected officials and help make them into more accurate representatives of our society. Lobbying your own representatives does not give you an “agenda” and the act should be praised, not disparaged.

 Don’t know who your elected officials are? Find them here:

http://www.congress.org/congressorg/dbq/officials/

An Open Letter on Gays Who Serve

Below is a copy of the letter I sent to Greg Marzullo in response to his blog on the Washington Blade, which can be viewed here:

http://www.washblade.com/blog/index.cfm?blog_id=15484

Dear Greg,

I writing to you in response to your post on the Washington Blade Blog, “12000 Flags,” regarding the event sponsored by HRC, Servicemembers United, and others to recognize the many military members discharged under the US Military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” statute.

While I appreciate your candor, I disagree with you on several points. Most of my disagreement stems from my personal service in the US Army, and what it means to me.

I joined the Army in the year 2000, under President Clinton and before September 11^th. I joined because I needed direction in my life, and the military seemed a noble calling, where I would be promoted based on my merits, recognized not for who I was but by my performance. I also wanted the opportunities the military had to offer: an intense language training course where I earned my associate’s degree and the education benefits I could use later to attend college. I knew I could also realize the opportunity to travel around the world, become exposed to other cultures, and learn from them.

My motivations for joining are not unlike any straight or gay recruit’s.

And truly, when I joined, I became part of the military family. DADT may be the law and policy, but it was created by Congress and is enforced by senior military leaders. The issue is very political. But on the ground level, the politics unravel and a gay soldier is just another soldier. My straight peers respected my service, my dedication to duty, and my professionalism. They respected me. I shared that close fraternal bond with my peers, and my sexuality wasn’t an issue.

While I was in the military, I joined my brethren in many activities as a way to give back to the local communities we were stationed in. In South Korea I organized a luau party for kids from the local orphanage so they could meet and play with soldiers from our base. I coordinated a Christmas party for these same orphans, while soldiers gave tours of the base, played games, and bought presents for them.

In Monterey, California, I volunteered with other service members to watch kids so their single moms could enjoy a Saturday off. While there I also volunteered in the choir, singing at many events, including those honoring WWII vets and at church services after September 11^th.

I was not alone in my volunteering efforts. Countless service members give their time and continue to do so. They are encouraged by the military to give back.

I consider my time spent in Iraq to be one of the most important things I have done. While you may not appreciate the sacrifice, I cannot expect you to. You may not agree with the war or mid-east policy, but the military does not start wars. That is up to our government, and ultimately the public which allows that government to exercise its power, and we follow their wishes to the best of our abilities.

My job in Iraq was not to kill or destroy. My job was to use intelligence to save lives of Iraqi and US personnel. And I did just that. More often the lives saved were Iraqi, as they were targeted more often. Your article insinuates that the death and sacrifice of every service member has been in vain, but this is not so. We are doing our best in what many view as an untenable situation.

A member of the armed forces has many roles, and this is ever evident in Iraq. We function as security guards, relief workers, teachers, construction workers, engineers, arbiters of tribal conflict, language experts, and cultural ambassadors.

In many cases, the US Military is the only exposure other cultures have to Americans. We are representatives and ambassadors of the US, and as such, should be representative of our society, a society that includes openly gay and lesbian citizens.

It is often difficult for members of the LGBT community to understand why one would serve an organization that discriminates against them. The arguments for open service are generally designed for a conservative audience, and so may not appeal to our own community. The issue remains, though, that the military is the country’s largest federal employer, and should not be allowed to close its doors on openly gay men and women. I urge you and the rest of the LGBT community to stand with us, for without your support we will not succeed.

If for no other reason, support us because we are your brothers and sisters, and we deserve the same opportunities as everyone else.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Patrick English

Former Specialist, E-4

US Army

A Call for Service Member Stories

Note from the Director: Kevin Wegner is an exceptional individual, and I highly encourage taking the time to read his story in the Gay Military Times. I had the pleasure of speaking with him at length about my experiences in the military. With an issue like DADT, there are so many stories of brave military members serving in silence that fade away after they leave the military. Historians like Kevin will preserve the legacy of military members who served while America still had a ban on open service.

My name is Kevin Wegener.  I’m a gay vet that served in the US Air Force from 2000 through 2006 that is now attending Harvard Business School (HBS).  To read my story please see the Gay Military Times ( http://www.thegaymilitarytimes.com/071106Wegener.html).

At HBS I am currently working on “Our Sons and Daughters: Gay and Straight Veterans Serving Together In the Post-9/11 World”.  This is the first book project to bring together stories of both gay and straight veterans that have served since 9/11.  The purpose is to present a well-balanced reflection of what it means to have gays in the US military both at home and on the frontlines of Afghanistan and Iraq.  The hypothesis is that these stories will show a military that is becoming more accepting of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered service members.  The goal is to create a book that will appeal to a broad audience that include gay and straight people, veterans and non-veterans.  The hope is to increase the awareness of and understanding of what it means to be gay in the military and the increasingly favorable light straight service members are coming to view their gay brethren.

If you are interested in participating in this project, I am currently looking for lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered vets and the straight servicemembers that served alongside them that left the armed services ( e.g., Coast Guard, Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines) after 9/11 that would be willing to be interviewed.  If interested, please contact me at kwegener19@yahoo.com.

Honoring Every Veteran

This past Veteran’s Day I had the privilege of speaking at Servicemember’s Legal Defense Network’s “Honor Every Veteran” fundraiser. Perhaps more rewarding than the overwhelming support of those who attended was the sense of community I always feel in talking to other veterans.

I have been involved in the movement to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” for just over five years. In that time I have met many others involved: lawyers, lobbyists, executives, professors, actors, authors, students and directors of non-profit organizations. Many of them are veterans; some of them are not. The veterans each have their own amazing story to tell about what it was like to be gay in the military. And those who are not veterans have equally amazing stories about how the military has touched their lives and how they envision the military as an organization that does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

Over time I have grown close to these individuals, and it always feels like a reunion when we are together again. The fundraiser was in San Francisco, and I flew down from Washington state to stay over the long weekend. While I was there, I met up with more people than I can name here, and it was nice to catch up, particularly with the board members and staff of Servicemember’s Legal Defense Network. I also met their new Executive Director, Aubrey Sarvis. We had a chance to talk about the direction that SLDN is moving in, now that repeal of DADT could become a reality in the coming years.

I ran into some old friends, like Jeff Key, the marine who came out on CNN in opposition to the war, and we had a chance to catch up over dinner. It is comforting to be able to talk to other combat veterans about the war and issues surrounding it, as with everyone else it seems to be a political issue. It feels like many lose sight of the fact that the war is real, people are dying, and others that have lived through it have some serious emotional baggage. People would rather discuss what we should or shouldn’t do about it, and even now it seems like the public is fatigued even by that discussion.

Another friend I ran into, Jeff Petrie, is founder and director of USNA Out, the naval academy’s gay and gay friendly alumni chapter. He has also worked for the De Young museum for several years. A few years ago the De Young completed renovations, and Jeff took me on a tour through the new space, pointing out exhibit highlights. It was a fantastic experience.

Along with old friends I also met some new ones. I made friends with Tyson Redhouse, another OIF era veteran who worked as an intel analyst in the Air Force. We both stayed with Jim Maloney, former Director of Military Equality Alliance. We were able to connect and talk about some of our experiences in the war. It was great to meet him and spend time walking around the Castro, getting pizza, dancing, and browsing the shops. Although, of course, not all at the same time.

Overall the weekend was filled with events, from the fundraiser, to the LGBT historical society’s exhibit OUTRanks! which features the service of gay and lesbian members of the US armed forces from WWII to present. It was a busy time, but a good one in which to get re-connected to the movement and get the GLSMEforum rolling. And of course, to honor the service of every veteran, particularly those who have served their country in silence.

The Bay Area Reporter has a story on the fundraiser that can be viewed here:

http://www.ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=2434

SLDN has a week-long blog series called “Honor Every Veteran” which they ran for Veteran’s Day. This is the post wrapping up the series; the others can be viewed that the bottom of the linked page:

http://freedomtoserve.blogspot.com/2007/11/honor-every-veteran_12.html

Tyson Redhouse has a blog that he maintains here:

http://feathersbeads.blogspot.com/

GLSMEforum.org Re-launch!

After six months of development and hard work, I am proud to announce the re-launch of the GLSME website, www.glsmeforum.org. For over a year the previous website sat; un-updated, spam-filled, and inefficient. As the Director, I had great visions about what I wanted the GLSME to be and what I hoped to accomplish. With my limited knowledge on website design, I was not able to achieve this vision. And due to many events in my personal life, such as going back to college, changing jobs, and moving, the GLSME fell further down my list of priorities. I felt guilty every time I looked at the site, and embarrassed that I had not put any effort into it for so long.

Over the summer I decided to hire a web designer to re-vamp the GLSMEforum and turn it into something attractive that I would have the capability to update.  The new GLSMEforum would be the base of the active-duty GLBT community, a place where service members could connect with one another and their partners, families, and allies, despite serving in silence under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

 In the new website, this vision is realized.

We at the GLSME have created that base which includes news, activism, resources and events. Of course, these components must be kept current, and that is my promise to you. I will update the blog and news areas on a weekly basis, and I will update the events and activism when necessary.

That said, the GLSMEforum is your space. Your input will be shape the GLSME into the resource you need it to be. Feedback is essential, in any form. Emails and blog comments are highly encouraged. We will promptly respond to your suggestions and implement them when we are able.

 Thank you for visiting, and take a moment to browse around. We hope you’ll come back often.

Tour Wrap-up

Return to Call to Duty Tour Posts

The Call to Duty Tour of Spring 2006 was a huge success, thanks to efforts from the tour staff, organizers and speakers, generous donors, and everyone who attended the speaking events.

We traveled for two months from coast to coast, and many of our experiences can be read about in the tour blog entries section. I apologize, but the blogs end in Colorado. From Colorado, we were stuck in a blizzard in North Platte, KS, traveled to San Antonio, TX, where we were joined by Pepe Johnson and Ret. Brigadier Gen. Virgil Richards in San Antonio, delivering a presentation to a packed auditorium of over 250 people. We traveled to Arizona next, speaking in Tempe. From there we went on to Salt Lake City, UT, for another presentation. We wrapped the tour with stops in Seattle, WA at U of W, Stanford in Palo Alto, CA, and a hectic day of four presentations in San Diego, CA.

Special Thanks to Alastair Gamble and Jules Sohn for speaking with us on some of the those stops.

A comprehensive publication with facts, figures and observations called “The Ground War” can be found on the Call to Duty Tour website. The Tour presentation at Harvard can be viewed via the link below.

Call to Duty Tour Website

The Ground War Report (12.52 MB)

Watch the Call to Duty Tour

Tap the Rockies!

Return to Call to Duty Tour Posts 

Let me apologize, faithful readers, for taking so long to get this next blog entry about the Call to Duty Tour out to you. We are in the final week of the tour, and things are winding down. I, like my fellow tour members, have been busy and in many ways worn out. I think we are all looking forward to getting back to our lives after six weeks on the road.

I have a long way to go to get you from Colorado, where we were hurtling toward last, through our next few stops. So let`s get started. From Columbia, Missouri, it was pretty much a straight shot to Colorado. We drove late into the night into the middle of Kansas, to a small town called Salina. It was at that point we couldn`t drive anymore. Fred had had quite an adventurous night, and I will offer a quote from one of his emails in support:

“I have just pissed myself. We were driving along I-70 from Columbia and wanted to push past Salina tonight. I was driving and had to pee some’n fierce. When I finally selected an exit it was one of those sneaky exits that take you a hundred miles out of the way to a gas station that is closed. I hopped out of the car and ran down to a fence to relieve myself. While enjoying my relief I heard a dog growl in the distance. I thought this puppy was behind a neighboring fence and looked up at the clear sky and beautiful stars. Suddenly the growl turned to a bark and I was quick to respond to a lightning flash of pit bull and a lunging guard dog snarling toward the fence.

My instinct was to kick for the teeth. Of course my instinct was stronger than my intellect so I kick a chain-link fence which was much closer than anticipated. This knocked me a little off my center of balance and the fact that my hands were a little preoccupied didn’t help the situation. After I stopped laughing and my heart left my throat and returned to my chest I realized that my aim made a bit of a mess on my trousers. I’m just glad that I didn’t bitch-squeal.”

Around the time we pulled into Salina, Fred and I decided it would be fun to stay at the “Salina Motel.” I guess it`s an indication of how tired I was that I actually got excited about staying at this questionable facility. Jarrod and Alex woke up, though, and vetoed the shady place for the Days Inn. We woke up early the next morning and were able to see what Kansas looks like during the day. It can best be summed up in one word: flat. I was trying to figure out how to take a picture that could capture the fields that stretched on forever with no hills or mountains in sight, but to no avail. It seemed like the locals tried to capitalize on their claim to fame, “The Wizard of Oz.” There were stuffed Dorothys and shirts proudly proclaiming “Not in Kansas anymore” in the gas station that we stopped at along the way. I survived the shamless parade of merchandise and we soon found ourselves in Colorado.

The highway became fairly rural, but was fun. The landscape picked up, and before we knew it, we were coasting around hills and gazing at the Rocky Mountains in the distance. Before long we pulled into Colorado Springs, nestled at the foot of the Rockies. I was impressed. I had been told that Colorado Springs was a conservative area, being the home of Focus on the Family and the Air Force Academy, and I was about to see firsthand. The four of us, Alex, Jarrod, Fred and I, drove north of the city to meet Al at the Air Force Academy. Al had arranged accomodations at the base`s lodging, and we were grateful. For the first time in weeks, I would have my own room and be able to relax apart from everyone.

Heather flew in late that night and we all met up in the morning, excited and ramped up about the event at University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. Even though Heather had only been away a short time, it was great to see her again. Like Fred has said time and again, Heather has great energy, and it`s true. She really lifted up the mood of the group, despite our exhaustion. We went to UCCS that afternoon, to give our presentation. The small auditorium was packed, as two classes had placed the event on their curriculum. In my opinion, it`s good when we have presentations where attendance is mandatory for the students. We get people who don`t necessarily want to be there, and therefore get interesting questions and expose people to our arguments who might not usually have any opinion on DADT.

Shortly before giving our speeches, I was suprised to see a long-time friend show up to watch. Daniella Dusak, who I haven`t seen since I was stationed in Korea, ended up stationed at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, and wanted to come and see us. We gave our presentation, and afterward we were interviewed by reporter from AP. It was great to see Daniella, and Al Green`s father showed up as well, with a friend of his. We arranged to meet the Green`s family for dinner, and headed out to lunch. Johnny and his crew went with us to eat and we had some good conversation. After lunch, we decided to go on a “field trip” to Focus on the Family, which was close to the Air Force Academy.

The have a museum and gift shop that we perused for about an hour. There was only a small section of books on homosexuality, and nothing in the museum about it. Heather and I read excerpts on the Christian Church`s views on Lesbianism. I guess I wasn`t moved one way or the other by the museum, because I believe that people should have faith. Unfortunately a lot of displays came off as propaganda, though. We left Focus on the Family and headed back to our accomodations. I was able to catch up on laundry and email, and generally enjoy having my own room. Johnny provided us with a camera to record our thoughts and experiences on the road, as he and his crew would not be around until we made our way to California. He and Peter taught us how to use the device before leaving.

Later on, Heather, Fred, Al and I headed toward town for dinner, We met the rest of Al Green`s brother and his family, and had a lovely meal at the Elephant Bar. I had decided earlier to meet Daniella, and another friend of mine, Josh Cowan, after dinner. As it was, Jarrod and Alex had not joined us for dnner and had the other vehicle. I went with the others back to base, and was about to beg off going out, when Daniella announced she would drive up to the Academy and pick me up. I relented, and before I knew it I was with Josh and Daniella in a local bar, reminiscing about our time in Korea.

We caught up for a few hours, and then Alex and Jarrod showed up to join us. I hadn`t laughed so hard in a long time, and it felt good to be back with some of my Army friends. We walked to a club down a few blocks called Eden, and spent time talking and trying to put up with a short woman who tried to molest most of the members of our group. She didn`t believe that Jarrod or Alex were gay, and they made out in front of her to prove it. She was dancing on Josh for a good part of the time we were there, and he ended up driving off with her. Of course, I heard later from him that he had to call to cops to get her out of his car. I think he learned from his experience.

I rode back to base with Alex and Jarrod, and was about to head upstairs to my room when I heard a voice crooning my name. It was Heather, and we stayed up talking early into the morning. We talked about the tour, and she expressed to me that we had lost energy, and our speeches sounded a little dull and rehearsed. I felt it too, as we had been telling the same stories over and over, and were getting bored. I tried to think of solutions, and eventually went to bed, glad to have connected again with Heather.

The next morning Al was extremely sick, and wasn`t going to be able to join us at our next event in Boulder. Heather, Fred and I went into town early to meet with another VFW Post Commander. Our communication with him wasn`t terribly good, as I don`t think he understood which position on Don`t Ask, Don`t Tell, we were arguing for. As soon as he realized we were in favor of repealing DADT, he brought up a lot of arguments about morale and fraternization. I think it was probably the worst meeting we have had to date. I don`t think we connected with him on any level. He was a WWII veteran, and I had been told many times that his generation would be a tough sell. Only being in town a few days was not going to be enough to change his mind.

Our small group went out to Target and bought some Saint Patrick`s Day goodies for everyone, and then visited Al in his room. He couldn`t keep anything down, and we tried not to overstay our welcome. We had a good chat, though, about many issues the Tour has been facing, and ways us making it more effective. We then joined Alex and Jarrod and drove up to University of Colorado, Boulder. This was one of the most disappointing events, as we only had 10-15 people in attendance. We caught the school right before spring break, and right after a mandatory event in the same room. We did have some LGBT veterans share their stories, and my favorite audience mamber was a student who was also part of the ROTC program on campus. She told us that she was doing a research project on DADT, and decided the see the Tour`s presentation as she finished it up. After looking at all the evidence, she told us it was hard for her to see any rational platform for keeping the law in place. She told us she would talk to her fellow cadets about DADT.

We left Boulder, stopping only for dinner at a mexican restaurant along the freeway. In an effort to improve my speech, I told my experience in Iraq to the group in detail. It was hard to relive the suicide bomber attack, and see it again in glaring clarity, but was helpful in transforming my speech.

Early next morning I drove Heather to the airport, as it was time to say goodbye to her again. We shared a pleasant car ride, and then I went back to base to shower and change. I woke myself the rest of the way up, and went with Fred to explore the campus on our last morning. We walked around the cadet area to the chapel. and waited for it to open. I wondered what the big deal was, as Al had mentioned we shouldn`t miss an opportunity to look at the chapel. I was not disappointed. Fred and I first looked at the Roman Catholic chapel and Jewish Chapel, as the main chapel wasn`t open. Each room was bathed in color from the morning sun hitting ribbons of stained glass. When the chapel opened, it had all the austerity of any church I had ever visited, including those in Europe. It was indeed holy. Fred and I explored the chapel in absoluted silence, and left before anyone else had a chance to show up.

With a short time before we would head up to Denver for the weekend, I quickly struck out to see the Garden of the Gods. It is an incredible natural formation in Colorado Springs, caused by the same shifting of land that created the Rocky Mountains. I had to tour it quickly, but I don`t regret driving out to see it.

Before long we were on the road and had arrived in Denver, where our group split up. Alex and Jarrod went to see Jarrod`s grandparents in Laramie, WY, and Fred and I would be spending the weekend in Denver.

I will get the next installment out soon, as it includes adventures in Denver, a blizzard in Nebraska, and one of our most successful events in San Antonio! Keep checking back…

Iowa and Missouri

 

Return to Call to Duty Tour Posts 

 

Due to recent events and a captivating post by Tim Smith, I have fallen a little behind in the blog for the Call to Duty Tour. Never fear, faithful readers, as I will pick up again where we left off, at the end of our late night journey from Tennessee into Iowa.

Although I have a lot of family roots in Iowa, I had never been there before. Most of my family, originally from Des Moines, has moved to Southern California (go figure.) So it was another chance for me to put these notions about a place I had only heard described into a frame of reference.

We were a ragged group by the time Alex, Jarrod, Fred and I drove in for breakfast in Des Moines. We had taken a short nap near the Iowa border, and we gathered our strength at a small Iowa diner before pushing into the final stretch to Ames, where Iowa State University is located. Just a warning folks, it’s not advisable to go to Iowa during the winter. When I told my mother I was going to Ames, she told me that there would be a lot of cornfields. This sentiment had been echoed by my Grandmother sometime earlier, when she related her experience of taking a train across country and through the Midwest. I expected corn, and lots of it. Those cornfields, however, had been razed to the ground. There were no stalks, only gray debris on an equally gray landscape. I thought to myself what the state must look like in the spring and summer, right before the harvest. The vivid green eluded us, however, and our group was faced with gray.

We trundled into the hotel, and I decided to go work out in the gym and maybe swim a few laps in the hotel’s outdoor pool. It proved worth it, and gave my exhausted yet wired body a reason to take a shower and restful nap. All too soon, though, we were up and preparing for our Iowa presentation.

The college was a short drive away, and we parked next to a semi-frozen lake. I don’t know why, but Fred and I were fascinated by the geese on the lake. In a semi-frozen landscape, I guess they struck us as exciting.

We had enough time to eat and then drag in our props and set up for the event. We ended up drawing quite a crowd, including John Basil, a guy I went to the Defense Language Institute with in Army. He had finished his time in the military as a Russian linguist and was studying at Iowa State. It was good to see him, and even though he had some concerns, he was glad I was standing up for what I believe in.

This presentation was our first without Al, and I think we felt that it was a little rough. At least ten people in the crowd walked out at different parts of the presentation, although we’ll never know why. But overall it was a mixed audience, and although we didn’t have the engaging discussion of Knoxville, we all determined that the 16 hour drive had been worth it.

We debated going out to dinner, but everywhere seemed to be closed. We settled for buying food at a local grocery store and creating a buffet in our shared room.

There was some excitement in the group as we knew the next day would be a long drive, but would take us to Saint Louis, Missouri, where we would have a short weekend break.

The trip to Saint Louis took us most of the day, and we didn’t get in until around midnight. On our way from Des Moines to Saint Louis, we had to pass through Kansas City, MO. An hour before we arrived, we realized that our cigarette lighters were no longer powering our power converters. Ultimately, our mobile command center was down.

Luckily we managed to swap out our white SUV for a slick blue minivan, with more storage space and working wiring. We spent the ride from Kansas City to Saint Louis (which is one end of the state to the other) listening and laughing to David Sedaris’ humor on CD.

The next morning was an early one for Fred and I, who were determined to get out and enjoy the time we had in the city until our next presentation in Columbia at the University of Missouri. We walked through Forest Park, the sprawling park cutting through the middle of town, and had a fantastic breakfast at a Mediterranean/Arabic Café.

It was hot and humid in Missouri, and it felt good after the cold of Iowa. We had no problems roaming around the city in the late morning/early afternoon.

We ended up walking to the Catholic Cathedral of Saint Louis, which was a marvel. I took a trip to Germany in 2001, and saw King Charlemagne’s cathedral in Aachen. That is the only place I can compare this cathedral to. Saint Louis’ cathedral was covered in gold mosaic and stained glass, with inlaid marble carpeting the floor. It was a truly holy place.

 

Fred and I were a little sunburned from our walk, and we hopped on the bus. Fred headed to the Art Museum in Forest Park, and I was off to the mall. I needed to break away from the group and enjoy the familiar comforts of consumerism. I ended up with a great shirt from Urban Outfitter that had the Hagia Sofia embroidered on it. If you know me, I need say no more. I had the opportunity to wear that shirt out that night, after our group had dinner at a cool extreme sporting café. I ended up being the only one going out that night, and didn’t end up regretting it. I met some really great people who went to college in Illinois, just over the border. It felt good to dance again, as I hadn’t been in a while. Chris, Adam, and Mike were great to hang out and talk with. The unfortunate thing about the tour is I meet a lot of good people, and I don’t know if I will see them again. I suppose I will have to put out the effort to keep in touch.

I have met people from all walks of life on the Call to Duty Tour. Jim Maloney, a friend of mine and director of the Military Education Initiative, told me shortly before I left that this trip would change my life. I have a lot more perspective on my own country now. It seems ludicrous that I have traveled so much around the world and yet had not explored the diversity of America, my home. Even though I am fighting for social justice, I am grateful to live in such a country where I can express myself and travel freely without restriction. I think we must all remember that not everyone is so lucky.

Our core four group said goodbye to Saint Louis and pushed on to Columbia. It was a relatively short drive, but we were about to encounter some resistance. I don’t watch the weather channel on a regular basis. Perhaps I should. The resistance we encountered was in the form of a severe storm with tornado warnings. Two tornadoes had touched down in the adjacent county, and the storm was barreling right toward us. We had enough time to check in to our hotel and get our bags out of the car before it hit.

If you’ve never been in such a storm, it’s difficult to describe. Everything seems to turn upside-down. Clouds fly up into the air, hail the size of golf balls rains down and warm and cold air alternately whip around you.

It wasn’t long until the sky turned dark and tornado sirens wailed throughout the air. Of course we all stood outside, rubbernecking and trying to catch a glimpse of a tornado. The tornado never came, and that was it for the excitement that night. We ate at a not-so-great Thai restaurant and called it a night. I stayed up to make a few calls and watched the rain drive sideways through the streets of tiny Columbia.

I will wrap up this longish entry with a trip for Fred and me to the local VFW the next day and a successful presentation at the University of Missouri.

 

We received a warm reception at each event, and enjoyed our time in Missouri. One more note is that we had lunch with a friend of Fred’s, Jordan, who is stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, where I went to basic training. Jordan, and his girlfriend Lexi were good people, and I’m glad I had a chance to talk with them before and after the event. Although Jordan was opposed to lifting the ban, he said that our presentation gave him a lot to think about. No one can ask for more. It’s not thinking about DADT that has allowed it to continue.

We hit the road again, pushing our tired selves through to Kansas, where we stopped for the night. Al and the Air Force Academy were waiting for us in Colorado Springs, and we were on our way…

Georgia and Tennessee

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A cold, grey Atlanta morning found Alex, Jarrod, Fred and I on our way to Staples, to print up some more posters advertising the event at North Georgia College. After our incredibly small audience at USC, we weren`t going to take any chances at our next conservative area. We framed our presentation as a debate, hoping to draw more of the community out and hear the conservative views that we had yet to receive. 90 posters later, we arrived at NGCSU.

If you`ve never been to Georgia, take all the preconceived notions about the state in your mind and throw them out. Fill it with these instead: Georgia is still coming out of winter, so no trees are in bloom. Their bare branches help highlight the sloping green fields that surround the north Georgia area. This part of the state is very rural, and while there are thriving communities, it feels like it was only settled a few years ago. The area is very connected with its history, and instead of forsaking it and forging ahead, the populous brought the history with them.

I`ll touch briefly on a bit of history regarding North Georgia College. Probably the most singular feature about the campus is the gold steeple that tops the administration building on campus. I learned that the steeple is actual gold, in part to reference the building`s history as the nation`s first mint. Parts of the old mint have been preserved below ground and can still be seen to this day.

We spent most of the morning putting up more posters at North Georgia, weaving in and out of the flow of students and cadets. The cadet population is very strong at NGCSU, as it is a college with a military program that commissions officers into the Army after graduation. These were hopefully some of the people that we were going to reach out to in the area. Adam followed us around with his camera, and at last we had distributed the posters and met up with our sponsors, to take a look at the space we would be speaking in. The Health and Sciences building was a fairly new addition to the campus, sitting on the hill overlooking the parade field and all the campus buildings arrayed around it. We were to give our presentation the following day in the “large lecture hall.” I had the pleasure of meeting Donna Waddell and Scott Marshall, two professors instrumental in bringing our event to the campus. We made logisitic plans for what would be a hectic schedule the following day: with one presentation in the morning and one in the evening, not to mention the lunch and dinner planned in between. Our crew headed back to Atlanta, but not before watching the cadets march onto the parade field that afternoon. While watching them march, Leah asked me if I missed the military. I told her that I couldn`t answer that question, as I haven`t really felt like I`ve left. Part of me feels like I will simply return to Fort Lewis after this extended leave, and continue in my job and career path. There are several reasons why it`s been difficult for me to let go of the Army, and one of them is that the institution has shaped my adult life. I will never be without the Army, as Fred told me, because it is a part of who I am.

We spent a quiet evening in Atlanta, and went to a gay steakhouse with Jeff. Unfortunately Kevin was at a Georgia Equality meeting, and couldn`t join us to say farewell. We would be leaving the following evening, directly after our presentation, and driving to Knoxville to prepare for our next venue. The morning of our presentation went smoothly, although a little rushed, and we made it on time to our first appointment: a luncheon hosted by one of the deans of the college. There waiting for us was Frank Holliday, another major reason we have had success in giving a presentation at North Georgia. Frank is a local minister and he and his partner hosted a fundraiser for us a few months ago. He has also helped raise awareness in the community about the upcoming event. At the luncheon we met the Vice Prinicipal of the school, the Dean that was hosting us and introducing us at the presentation, and Donna Waddell.

We had a nice lunch that was filmed by Johnny and his crew, but then had to rush to set up for our 12:30 event. The setup went well, and then it just came down to waiting for people to show up. Even though we didn`t have an extremely large crowd, we did have a large showing of cadets. I was also able to hear Fred`s story, which I didn`t know much of at that point. At the Q&A portion of the event, we were able to address some concerns we hadn`t heard yet. The crowd was not completely liberal or supportive, and that fact was actually quite heartening. It meant we were doing what we started the tour to do. We wanted to foster a discussion with people from the community, and that`s exactly what we did.

Afterward we headed into town for dinner. The town of Dahlonega is quaint and historic. In the past few days we patronized the old time ice cream parlor, the fudge shop and the 80 year old barber shop. Tonight we ate at Wylie`s, a cozy local restaurant with great food. We sat upstairs, joined by the Donna, Frank, Frank`s brother, reporter that would be attending our event that evening, and the president of the school`s Gay Straight Alliance. The conversation was good, and invariably gravitated toward DADT issues.

All too soon we were back on stage and presenting our stories. The evening saw a smaller crowd, but overall the day was extremely successful. We said goodbye to our hosts, and to Jeff who had also attended that evening. We bade farewell to Johnny and gang also, not knowing if they would be able to join us before we made it out to the west coast to wrap things up.

It was back on the road to Knoxville, and I tried to sleep on the way up. We pulled in to our hotel late that night, and it was straight to bed.

The next morning Alex and Jarrod had a radio interview, and when they came back they shared their results with us. There was a little paranoia in the air, as we didn`t know what crowd to expect at the University of Tennessee. We had errands to attend to, and I took it upon myself to take the vehicle in for an oil change, due to the large amounts of distance we would begin to cover. Driving through, I found Knoxville to be much more rural than I had expected. While parts of it were developed, the majority of the outlying city was not.

Before we left the hotel we had a lot of admin catch up. There were emails to respond to and calls to be made, and then we headed across town to meet our sponsor in Tennessee, Ray. Ray met us at a local restaurant, and we had a nice meeting. We parted ways for the time being, and continued on to Staples to have some posters printed and sent to the universities we will be attending down the line. After Staples we began to be pressed for time, and took Al to his hotel. He would be leaving us as well, to take off the next morning and join us again in Colorado. We changed quickly and drove downtown to UT Knoxville`s Law Center. We met up with Ray, who had put together a feast of Chinese food. We helped him carry it into the Law Center, which is a gorgeous building, complete with marble floors and dark wooden pillars. We had about an hour before the event to set up, eat, and mingle. It didn`t look like too many people would show up, but we were about to be pleasantly surprised by the crowd.

After our personal presentations, it was clear that we had a few different groups in attendance. There were supporters, people with reservations, and then some students from the local bible college. I think we were able to reach out to all of them and facilitate a great discussion. We all agreed at the end of the night that it was one of our most successful engagements.

We said goodbye to Al, and prepared to forge ahead to Ames, Iowa.

It was a 13 hour drive that stretched before us, and so we drove in the cover of darkness, out of the south and into the mid-west…

 A thank you:

Much to my dismay, I was not aware that the Call to Duty Tour`s Knoxville event was faciliated in a large part by Beth Maples-Bays, the Knoxville/East Tennessee Bureau Chief of Trangendered American Veterans Association (TAVA). Both Tim Smith and I have had positive experiences working with Beth and TAVA, and greatly appreciate their efforts for Call to Duty and in helping active duty servicemembers.

Hopefully TAVA will be featured soon on the GLSME website, but until then, please visit them here.

Or click on the link below:

http://www.tavausa.org/

Liberal Cities of the South

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We left USC in the afternoon and headed down to Charleston, an city which I was later told was the liberal area of South Carolina. I had absolutely nothing to base on what was liberal or conservative within the state of South Carolina, so I just prepared myself to face the unexpected. Part of this tour has been very difficult for me. Coming to terms with one`s sexuality in the military is nothing like being able to talk about it before an audience. Coming out is a process, and it never truly ends. Being able to openly say I am gay is such a refreshing feeling. I am finally learning that my sexuality is okay, and even if people have judgements or reservations about it, they cannot deprive me of my job or my dignity.

We were in a rush to get down to Charleston, as we had a few engagements to be present at that day. We were supposed to meet with a member of the Citadel faculty, but unfortuately time would not allow. However, we were able to make it down to Charleston in time for a very important event: another meeting with a VFW Post Commander. I had been in communication with Richard Schramm for a few weeks, from my first cold call asking to speak with him about the Don`t Ask, Don`t Tell law, to walking in the door of his VFW post that afternoon. It is always difficult to predict the reactions of the people you will speak to about the issue, or the concerns they will raise. It is particularly challenging to approach people who have been seen as traditionally opposed to lifting the ban. But our “delegation” sat down at a table inside the post, and waited. We nervously looked around, and talked quietly, and then Richard showed up. He had served in the Army for 25 years, a three tour Vietnam veteran, and definitely had some valid concerns about keeping Don`t Ask, Don`t Tell as a law. We introduced ourselves, and discussed where we were coming from on the issue, and were able to find common ground. We ultimately agreed that sexuality is a personal matter, but misconduct was misconduct, whether heterosexual or homosexual. But simply identifying as being homosexual should not be grounds for discharge.

It was a very productive meeting, and we all had a taste of some of the arguments people might have for wanting to uphold a law.

I felt fortunate that after our sit down with Richard, a reception by the Log Cabin Republicans was being held for us across town. We hurried to the event, over the many bridges that spanned this lovely and developed port town. The city had recently installed a new bridge that spanned several miles, and it looked like there were also recent renovations to the freeway system. Cruising into downtown, we made it to the reception and were met with warm support. Al, Jarrod, and Alex all spoke briefly to the crowded bar, Dudley`s, about who we are and what we were doing. Then the crowd wanted to hear our stories, so we each had a chance to stand on top of a black box and speak to our audience.

I gave a very truncated version of me experience, but people there still found it moving. I was approached by a woman named Becky, who thanked me for sharing my story, and imparted her own to me. She was kicked off her basketball team for being a lesbian, having lived in a very conservative area. She told me she fully supported what we were doing, and said the only cause she had ever donated to was cancer research, as her mother had passed away from the disease. But she was willing to donate to us. Even within the LGBT community, we are able to reach out, and come together, and I am honored to be a part of that.

Later we dined with the Log Cabin Republicans, and I was very impressed. Their mission is to bring the Republican politicians back to their Republican roots, and truly embody the conservative ideals the party stands for. I believe that it is an excellent goal, and ultimately support what they are doing. It was great to hear their perspective regarding recent political events.

The Log Cabin Republicans really showed us a great night, but it would be an early and full day of driving to Atlanta, Georgia, so we had to get to our hotel and get some sleep. We hadn`t even checked in to our hotel yet, such was the nature of our busy schedule, but after some late night emails, I hauled myself into bed.

Our drive to Atlanta saw our group split up again, to further film Alex and Jarrod. The two were headed to Jarrod`s parent`s house, to do some filming around Jarrod`s family dynamic. Jarrod is a Georgia native, so returning home must have been a nice break in the tour. Heather was about to have a break from the tour as well, but would be going back to San Antonio to take finals and then join us again later. She was flying out later that day, and so Al, Heather and I started making our way from Charleston to Atlanta. Due to the freeway structure of South Carolina, we first had to go back up through Columbia and then down toward Atlanta. Along the way Al and I had a great discussion regarding the possiblities of lifting the ban and how far we still had to go. Even though I am living this issue on a daily basis, it is still refreshing to have an intellectual discussion about the law and its future. Heather slept in the back, and before we knew it, we were passing through the metaphoric gates of the city of Atlanta.

It is a beatiful city, with buildings of steel and glass reaching to the sky and reflecting its cerulean color. Much like in my city of Seattle, trees abounded and flanked the freeway. In addition to dropping Heather off, we needed to make an important addition to our tour. We swung by the airport and picked up Fred Fox, a former Army enlisted person who later went into the officer corps. Fred has an extremely distinguished military career, serving in Mogadishu, Somalia as a member of one of the units highlighted in the movie Blackhawk Down. He developed post-traumatic stress disorder, and later had to participate in counseling to work through some of his experiences. He was forced by Don`t Ask, Don`t Tell to keep his sexuality out of his counseling sessions, even though some aspects of sexuality are an important part in treating post-traumatic stress disorder, for fear he would be fired. This played a major part in his decision to leave the military.

Al, Heather and I picked up Fred, and as Heather still had several hours until her flight, we went to a hotel to chat and have something to drink. Fred was joining us for the duration of the tour, and I had already met him at the fundraiser we had in San Francisco. We all caught up a little, and then had to say goodbye to Heather and took her back to the airport.

We got on the road again, three servicemembers but a different dynamic, and we embarked on the final leg of our journey to Atlanta. We were staying with Jeff Cleghorn, a former Army Major who is now an attorney and a major force in the Don`t Ask, Don`t Tell movement. I had first come into contact with Jeff three years ago, when he worked for Servicemember`s Legal Defense Network. He answered a lot of my legal questions regarding the GLSME, and I am now working with him on another project. I had yet to meet him in person, though, and it was great to see him face to face. He and his partner Kevin took good care of us for the three days were were there.

I got to sleep in a real bed and not in a hotel, so I was grateful. Jeff and Kevin invited some of their friends over for dinner, and we layed into some ribs and fried chicken. Later on we all went out and had a great time. When we returned to Jeff and Kevin`s house, I was more than ready to fall into a deep sleep.

The next day Alex, Jarrod and I went to look at the place in Cumming, Georgia, where the two of them will be living at the end of the tour, as they will both be attending North Georgia college. The showroom apartment was beautiful, very open, and bright. We took some good pictures, and opted not to steal any of the furnishings.

We then made a quick stop by the drugstore, so Jarrod and Alex could get a money order to make a deposit on the apartment. Then we headed back to Jeff and Kevin`s house, as they were hosting a fundraiser for us that evening. Fred had been interviewed by Johnny and his crew earlier, and he was already mingling with some of the early guests at the fundraiser. Jarrod, Alex and I rushed in, changed and set up a poster and some flyers. It was another great reception, and everyone was very supportive. I once again heard stories from other LGBT veterans and active duty folk, and was able to learn from them and relate. We wrapped up the evening by staying in and watching the Academy Awards.

I didn`t make it through the entire show, because the next day would be an early trip to Staples and then North Georgia college. I went to bed well rested and excited about our upcoming engagement at our first military college..